Shagging on the Hogwarts Express
by Black-Velvet-Hearts
Summary: Harry and Draco try to ‘get it on’ while on the train ride to Hogwarts. HPDM - DRARRY! COMPLETE! First in the 'At Hogwarts' series. Sequel completed.
1. SOTHE Info

**Shagging on the Hogwarts Express**

**By: Drunk McGonagall – Jasmine and Elizabeth**

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**WARNING:** Male/Male – wand-on-wand - SLASH - NC-17 for language and sexual content/attempted sex

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**Disclaimer:** We do not own Harry Potter. All the characters are owned by JK Rowling. "DAMN IT" Owned BY Harry Potter

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**Summary:** Harry and Draco try to 'get it on' while on the train ride to Hogwarts, but whenever they try to shag like bunnies, they are rudely interrupted by some highly unexpecting people. Want to know who? READ THE FIC!!


	2. SOTHE

**Shagging on the Hogwarts Express**

**By: Drunk Mcgonagall – Jasmine and Elizabeth**

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**A/N: Harry – Jasmine, Draco – Elizabeth – starts off with Draco))**

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Draco Malfoy stalked down the walk of the train boarding, heading straight for the pillar that separated platform 9 and 10. A servant trailed behind him with his luggage, but he would have to take them onto the Hogwarts train by him. He saw Potter, the Weasel, and the Mudblood all laughing as they headed for the platform. He gave them a nasty sneer as he walked past.

Harry gave Malfoy a death glare. Then he flipped him the bird. Cause he could.

Drago flipped him back and walked through the wall muttering, "Bitch." He piled up his things and walked up onto the train, giving the man standing there a shove to move him. He walzed into one of the rooms and plopped down on the couches inside. His name was written on the side of the wall, along with one other that made him groan and smack his leg, as he tilted his head away. Harry Potter.

Harry (cause he was poor and didn't have a servent like Draco) drug his trunk full of sex toys with him down the train corridor thingy. Harry looked for his compartment (he hadn't been assigned with Hermione or Ron, who had happened to get one together) Anyhow...yeah so Harry finally found his fricken compartment in the back of the train, he realized he was with Draco Malfoy. "Son of a bitch..." He muttered, as he swung the door open. "Hey asshole" Harry greeted Draco cheerfully. Then he flipped him the bird again. Cause he still could.

Draco looked up and his face was pretty much shoved with Harry's cock. He could only look away and try to hide the blush that rose to his cheeks as he felt himself harden suddenly. 'Damn' He thought as Harry sat down across from him.

Like, 15 minutes later or something like that, Malfoy desided to change into his robes. Harry enjoyed the show and thought Malfoy was pretty damn sexy.

Draco noticed Harry's motive and smirked to himself. "Like what you see?" He asked mockingly.

"Hell yeah, I like what I bloody see." Harry said. "I'd like it better if you took em back off though."

He smirked and kissed his jaw. He raised his hands to Harry's shoulders and slid off the outer layer of his robes. Draco kissed under his chin and Harry almost made a noise when there was a nock on the door and Draco held Harry to him to keep them from being caught. "Are you boys decent?" Came the muffled voice of Severus Snape. Draco cleared his throat. "Sorry, sir, but we are still changing."

"Well, thats too damn bad." said Snape and he came in anyway, even though that was probably illegal. Harry flipped him the bird cause that wasn't illegal, even though he would have done it even if it was illegal."We should make this a three some." Said Draco witha smirk. "Hell yeah!" cried Snape and stripped off his shirt too.

Draco shut the compartment door and locked it as Snape pulled down his pants.Draco walked back over to Harry and smashed his lips down on his. "SNAPE!"

Came an unhappy voice of McGonnagle. "Oh shit..." He growled, pulling up hispants and lugging on his shirt. "Gotta go."

-Back in the Teachers compartment- McGonnagle on Dumbledore "Oh, Dumbles!" Snape enters. "What did I miss?"

Draco and Harry paid no attention to his leave, or that the door hung open to prying eyes. Draco had Harry pinned up against the wall, one hand trailing up and down his outer theigh, the other cradling the back of his head as he deepened the kiss, sliding his tounge past Harry's lips.

-Back in Hermione and Ron's compartment- Its getting hot in here, so take off allyour robes "Oh yeah Ron, that's the spot!"

Harry pulled Draco's robes off, and they began stripping down to reach skin on skin contact. Draco pushed Harry against the wall again and leaned over him, trailing his tounge alonge the shell of his ear and grined when he felt Harry shudder under him.

Back in Ron and Hermione's compartment. Ron: Hey, lets just randomly go and see what Harry's doing."

Draco flipped Harry around and claimed his lips in a feirce kiss. His fingers were laced through Harry's hair, and Harry's hands clenched his waist for support. There was a sudden gasp in the door way, and they broke apart to see Hermione and Ron staring at them with wide eyes. "Oh shit!" Draco cried, and threw Harry's robes at him and covered himself up, tripping on a trunk and falling back onto a couch.

"Oh. My. God. Look at Harry's butt" said Hermione. "What the Bloody Hell are you doing mate?!?!?!?" asked Ron, his face turning red."Why didnt you invite us?" he yelled, "We could have had a 4-some!" "Don't freak out, Ron" said Harry, "We haven't done anything...yet" Harry paused "hey...wait a sec...that means you have!" "No No we haven't" said Hermione, she then made a sound like a dieing cat and ran from the room."Yea we have" said Ron proudly "It was great we snogged for 30 minutes, then we shagged like rabbits"

"Well that's interesting" Draco mumbled. "And don't worry about the 4-some, I wouldn't have done it with you or the Mudblood" Harry glared at him from his position across the room. "Hey, hey, don't give me that!" He rose his hands defensively. "I fancy good looking blokes." Ron snorted. "Sorry, sorry...I just don't like red-heads..."

"What ever, Malfoy" Ron snapped, as he stomped angrily out the door. "Don't worry about him, Draco, he'll come around, he's just jealous."

Draco sat naked on the couch across the compartment, his small pile of clothes covering his…erm…unmentionables….as he twiddled his thumbs. "So…" His breath came out in a whistle and the door slid shut as the train lurched. "What now?" Suddenly, a very red-faced Crabbe ran into the room, looking for Draco, and screamed at the two naked boys, and zoomed out, yelling for Goyle. "OH MY GOD!!" They heard Crabbe scream down the hall. "HARRY AND DRACO ARE NAKIE!!"

"OH MY GOD!" This was Goyle. "OH MY LORD!"

Draco shut the door again, very slowly and locked it before anyone else could see them.

So Harry and Draco start making out again when they hear something slam against the glass on the compartment door. "Damn it! What now!?!" Harry yelled in frustration. He and Draco paused for a few moments to listen they heard Ron say "Damn it! The fucking bloody door is locked!" "Oh Bloody hell, move over!" said Hermione in an exasperated voice. "Alohomora!" Hermione yelled. "Oh crap!" Harry yelled and dived for something to cover himself with. Hermione and Ron (closely followed by a curious looking Crabbe and Goyle) entered. "Oh. My. God. Look and Harry's butt again!" Hermione yelled as she covered her eyes. "um….Ron…just wanted to join you this time!" she mumbled, clearly embarrassed. Ron nodded eagerly, Malfoy rolled his eyes, then Crabbe and Goyle butted in and yelled "can we join too boss?"

Draco quickly covered himself up before any of them could see what they didn't want to. He looked nervously at Harry, who wasn't paying attention to him and trying to hid his butt that kept making Hermione yell: Oh My God! So…he turned to Ron. He gave him a look that told him 'just Harry' but apparently his pea-sized wizard brain couldn't comprehend it.

So finally they shooed them all out (including Hermione who was having some sort of a breakdown). "Finally all alone" said Harry in a sexy voice. But suddenly there was a rattling from inside Harry's trunk of sex toys. "Damn it!" Harry yelled again, "forgot to turn the vibrator off!" Malfoy grinned "Damn, that must to one big vibrator!" "Oh it is!" Harry replied. Harry hurried over to his trunk to turn off the vibrator so they could get on with it, but when Harry opened his trunk he found not a run-of-the-muck vibrator but a gigantic black dog! "Sirius…err…Snuffles?!?!" Harry yelled in horror. "Yup!" said Sirius/Snuffles, "I must say that I am proud of you…..the bad boy, I expected you and Ronald…"

Draco stood there, eye twitching. "H…Harry…" he said timidly. "Isn't this dude your DEAD god-father…no offense doggy…I just can't remember your name…" He was backed up against the locked compartment door, almost ready to shit his pants…well…if he had any pants on…

The black dog growled at him, and he yelped and jumped into a corner. Brave one second and chicken the other.

"Harry, help me! The dog's going to eat me!" Draco cried, his eyes wide with fear.

"Damn right I'm gonna eat you." The dog growled and stepped forward, causing Draco to let out a terrified, high pitched, girly shriek.

"Don't you dare!" Harry yelled, stepping in front of Draco. "Don't you touch my Dracy-poo!"

"Aww!" Draco cooed, and the dog looked mortified.

"Hey wait a sec… aren't you supposed to be dead?" Harry asked "I forgot for a minute." "Wow" said Sirius/Snuffles "I feel loved! Actually I was never dead, I just got sick of your little pussy ass and took a vacation to Bermuda, I just wanted you to think I was dead, so I apparated as soon as I was behind the cutain, I thought it was quit clever actually…I meant to apparate into a strip club, but I ended up in a trunk full of SEX TOYS!!!! Well, I must say that was fun, but it was no strip club…"

Draco stayed very quiet as Harry and the black doggie conversed. He carefully started to dress behind his back, but apparently, they were too busy yelling at each other to notice him. Finally clothed for the first bloody time in the whole train ride since he got on, Draco sat down and took out his new potions book to read over the first couple chapters and take a few notes like he always did. Snape had gone back to being Potion's teacher and Slughorn took over the Defence Against the Dark Arts class. The job really couldn't have the same teacher twice.

"..What do you mean my 'little pussy ass'?!" He heard Harry cry. "You've taken care of me my whole life with my parents, what the hell is wrong with you, Sirius?! You're my fucking god-father for Christ's sake!!"

Draco sighed. "Sirius, I think its time for you to leave." He stated calmly.

Suddenly Dumbledore came in "Oh. My. God. Look at Harry's butt" he said, "Just leave Hermione!" snapped Harry, "Hey…wait a second…DUMBLEDORE?!?!?! Aren't you dead too?!?!?" "Um…no….that was a blow-up doll of me, that dear Snapie-poo blew up, I also was in Bermuda because I was sick of not only Harry's, but all your little pussy asses! But now I'm back, there was no McGonagall to shag in Bermuda, so it wasn't that fun, plus I couldn't let her get too attatched to Snape…" suddenly Snape came back in "you call?" "er…no…" said the non-blow-up-doll Dumbledore. "Oh good, you boys are still undressed, well, Potter is, undress Malfoy, you dolt!" suddenly Snape noticed Sirius "Black?!?!?" Snape yelled horrified, "Snivillus!" Sirius said cheerfully.

Draco was so confused right now. So…Snape new the dog, Sirius Black. Sirius called Snape…uh…Snivullus….and Dumbledore AND Black went to Bermuda and did NOT die…? ''Confused I am!" He whined, and suddenly, the door flew open, and a man with brown hair with grey streaks walked in. There was a mix of names that were thrown around the room.

"Moony?!" Sirius cried. "Professor Lupin?!" Cried Harry and Draco. "Lupin?!?!" Gasped Snape. And finally, Dumbledore yelled: "Remus?!" Suddenly, there was a loud apparition crack, and appeared a bubble-gum pink haired Tonks in skimpy langere. "Sexy! Come back to bed, I'm waiting!"

Lupin coughed uncomfortably.

But before Tonks and Sexy..er…I mean Lupin could get back to um….whatever they were doing...there is another load crack and James and Lilly appear with Voldemort, and they look pretty wasted…Voldemort is wearing a jester's hat and giggling stupidly. "OH MY GOD VOLDEMORT!!!" Harry yelled "Just in time for the party!" Dumbledore grinned as he and Voldy "pounded" fists. "WHAT?!!?!" Harry Screamed. Oh, yea, forgot to tell you Harry, your parents and Voldemort aren't really dead, or mortal enemies, they are actually homies….they were also in Bermuda because they were suck of you baby pussy ass and all your screaming…so they got the hell out of there, that was the most clever of all our "deaths so far I must say…" "Hey Moonie, Padfoot, hey, where's Wormtail…" says James suddenly Wormtail appears out of no where "sorry I'm late" he says, and there is a lot more pounding all around. Suddenly James notices Tonks "Hey Moony, Score for you!...What are those bites all over her?!?" "Oh" said Remus "she likes it doggie style, you know with lots of fangs and me as a werewolf..." "Kinky" says James. Sirius scoots closer to Tonks, "so do you just like wolves, or all dogs?" he says wiggling his eyebrows, Tonks gulps and scoots away, "I'll stick to Remus thanks…" "have it your way, then" says Sirius, a hint of disappointment in his voice. "Lets get out of here Remus-poo" Tonks said, "your friends are freakin me out…" "ok sweet bottom" says Remus and they disapparate with a pop. "Could the rest of you get the hell out of here so me and Draco can "Get it on"" Harry yells. "Oh, yes, of course, EVERY BODY OUT SO HARRY AND DRACO CAN SHAG LIKE BUNNIES!!!" yells Dumbledore. Malfoy's face turnes red. "Magonigal will be wondering where I went along Snape, it's not a threesome with two people!" "Hey!" yells James "Wait for us, we can make it a sixsome, you, me, Lilly, Snape, Minerva, and Tom!" "Sweet" says Dumbledore, that should make things VERY interesting." So they finally all leave leaving Harry and Draco alone, finally. But suddenly Ron and Hermione come back, Hermione has already got her hands over her eyes as a precotion. "WHAT NOW?!?!?" Harry screams in frusteraion. "Hey mate!" yells Ron, wasn't that your parents, Dumbledore, Sirius, and Voldemort?!?!" "Yes" growls Harry, "It turns out that they are all homies and were all hiding out in Bermuda pretending to be dead because they were all, as they put it, sick of my pussy little ass"

Of course, Draco is confused as hell. "I think I'm gonna lay down…" He told Harry, and was moving over to the couch when Harry grabbed him by the wrist. "Oh, no you don't! You're not laying down unless its with me on top of you!" Hermione made a sound like a dying cat again and once more ran from the room. Ron, now that his pea-sized wizard brain came back to him, understood the comment and followed after her, shutting the door behind him leaving Harry and Draco alone…finally. They clashed lips the moment the Weasly left and just as it started, the door blasted open. "Harry, I've heard the news, I can't believe…AHH!" There, stood Cho, blushing beet red.

"Damn it, not again!" Harry screeched.

Harry pulled out his wand "Avada Kedavra" he screeched phycotically. Cho fell to the ground. Draco laughted and walked over to her and randomly flopped her limp arm. "Dead as a doornail my friend" he says with a smirk, "whats say we get it on." Harry grinned and launched himself at Draco. Suddenly the train comes to a sudden stop and Harry and Draco are smashed against the door. It is unclear what happens after this point exactly, but some students would swear they heard someone screaming "DAMN IT!!!!"

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**A/N: -Jess: The writing of the sequel: **_**Shagging at Hogwarts**_** is in the making. Jasmine and I haven't been able to see each other lately but it will soon be finished and updated!**

_**GO WACK A JILL!!**_


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